Sometimes the world works in strange and mysterious ways. One day you’re a student and within mere months you stand on the other side of the fence. Once you’re on the other side you realize that the borders you hated as a student are a necessity to keep your flock in place.

Without those borders you realize that students will gradually walk all over you whenever they can and that is something you have to be strong in. The problem I’ve experienced is in finding my own place and feeling comfortable in my new role at the very same school I once attended. Former teachers that you looked up to in the past have now turned into respected colleagues.

The first few weeks were extremely conflicted for me. I still felt like a student and had to re-adjust my own perspective of where I stood in this new and unexplored world. I had a regular full-time job that came with responsibilities and a monthly paycheck.

I remember what my best friend said after I had told him that I would be working at our former school, just a few months after we graduated the place and swore that we would never return there in our lifetime. He told me that I was crazy to even want to stand in front of a classroom of students and that he would never even consider this. He would rather be unemployed. Now the funny thing about this part of the story is that after he paid a lot of money for a career test he got the recommendation to either pursue a career in physiotherapy or become a teacher. He actually went for the latter mentioned profession.

I have actually been doing this job for a few months now and have discovered that this is a pretty fulfilling way to spend your time. The realisation that you are in fact putting your own stamp on a new generation of students gives me a warm feeling inside, a complex feeling of excitement and accomplishment.

The big hurdle for me to overcome was the fact that I have always see the good in people and try to help those who need it. But with this feeling I realised that I could not always do this to the fullest extent I wanted. In the beginning I got to personally involved with some of my students. I felt sorry for some of them after they confided their personal stories and problems to me and did not realize that I could not always help these people to the fullest extent of my being.

After setting some personal boundaries for myself I found it easier to do my job. When students come to me for advice or even counselling I give it to them and try to help them out with their dilemma or problems. All my life people have always started to talk to me about whatever they wanted, be it a profound problem or a joyful event in their lives, even if I did not feel like it at that particular time.

Within these months I have built up a good relationship with both my colleagues and students alike. Even though I still feel weird about being here at this point in my life and know that it will not be a permanent path in life for me, I still feel that this experience is giving me a solid list of talents I had not developed enough in the past.

What does life have in store for me? Will I ever be able to realise my own dreams? When will my unlucky streak finally stop? Will I ever start my own family? Or is this everything life has to offer? These are the questions I have been asking myself for some time now. Everything I have been working towards has not panned out as of yet.

Ever since I was a kid I always wanted to work in the movie industry, even though I didn’t know how expansive that world would be. I have been fighting tooth and nail to realise this dream and it has been extremely hard to make it happen and has been accompanied by a lot of disappointments and sorrow. I have a few flaws that act as my Achilles heel for years. The biggest one being my sense of pride and not being able to detach myself from my closest family members I have.

I know in my heart that going abroad will increase my chances to succeed by a great deal. But making that huge leap is hard to do. Leaving everything you have known your entire life behind to have to start from scratch somewhere else.

I have now set a goal for myself in life by setting a date for me to start a new one year education in the U.K. But is my dream worth it? Or should I just accept my losses and find a new path in life to explore? Can someone like me actually succeed in this goal? If you believe all the slogans that are tossed around in the world it should be reachable. But in my weakest hours I question my own strength and determination.

I have always had to fight to get somewhere in life. It builds character and only makes you stronger. Does that make it right? Some people get everything handed to them in life and are graced by an unnatural amount of luck to go along with their existence. I know I am not one of these people and that should make my journey an interesting one at best. At the end I hope this is all worth it for me and that I achieve my dreams and goals to the fullest extent possible.